A Random Thought: Baby Talk

On the way drive to work today, while listening to my usual morning radio, they brought up a interesting topic that I would like to talk about. It's "all the wrong reasons to have a baby".

This article is seen on msn.com, and it may upset some people that are reading this, but everyone is entitled to their own options right?  Everyone around me is getting married and trying to have kid or is pregnant. Take a look at the reasons below:

 

Wrong Reason 1: You Need Something New to Obsess Over

Now that the wedding planning is over, what will you do with all your free time? Suddenly there's a strong urge to fill it with another big project. Don't mistake boredom with baby cravings. Take up a hobby -- whether it's searching for houses on the Web or learning how to wallpaper your bathroom. Sure, you've proven that you can stick with something and follow it through to the end, but get the most out of this free time (and alone time) while you have it.

 

Wrong Reason 2: You're Freaked Out About Fertility

No matter how well we know our bodies, most of us have no idea about a fundamental aspect of our health -- our ability to conceive -- until we actually start to try. It's this nagging feeling that makes us anxious to jump into the baby ring. But take some of the pressure off yourselves and let nature take its course. Some couples have to wait a while to conceive, some get pregnant on the first try, and some without even trying! Assume the best, and only start the process when you're truly ready for the pitter-patter of little feet in the house.

 

Wrong Reason 3: Everyone Is Having Them

Come on. What's that saying about all your friends jumping off a bridge? This is a decision that will change your lives like no other. Make sure you're both on the same wavelength about the big issues: Who, if anyone, will stay at home? Can your living situation handle it? A solid, united front is the key to being perfect parents to a kid. Just because Sam and Anna are ready doesn't mean your twosome is ready for a threesome.

 

Wrong Reason 4: You Think a Baby Is a Quick Fix

Being married isn't easy, but it's easy to think a baby will make your life a fairy tale. Parenthood isn't all romance. Don't make the biggest mistake of all and expect a baby to fill a void in your marriage, or use the idea of starting a family as a Band-Aid for your relationship. Instead, work on the two of you, and remember all the fabulous reasons you got together in the first place -- then make room for baby.

 

Wrong Reason 5: There's Pressure From Parents

For years before your engagement, Mom dropped tons of not-so-subtle hints about wanting you to hurry up and tie the knot. Never one to let up, she's now talking about her grandma urges. Like you do with everything else your mother tells you, listen patiently and then calmly explain to her how you're still the master of your own destiny. Don't worry -- tell her she'll be the first to know.

Another reason you will hear is that people will say, "It's because I love babies!", but babies don't last forever!  Sooner than you realize they will turn from infants to toddlers, preadolescence, teenagers....  you don't hear people say: "I love having kids because I love teenagers!"

Most Asians will probably relate to Reason 5, Pressure from Parents. I know it's important to pass down your family name and family line. Most Asian kids are very obedient to their elders, so they will grant the elder's wishes thinking it's the right thing to do.  But have they ever thought about if that's what they wanted to do, as a couple? After all, they are the ones responsible for raising the kid for the rest of their life, not the couple's parents.

You won't hear a mom complain about her baby, or saying how hard it was & it was not worth it, or worse, regret it. Because as a society we think they are horrible people for saying stuff like that and they will go to hell for saying bad stuff about their baby.  But the truth is, having a baby and raising a kid is tough. No matter how much you prepare you will never be ready for it.

So hopefully before you are starting to try for a baby, you are doing it for the right reasons.